10 scriptures to help you pray through grief

By Bob Hostetler

When it comes to sharing our sorrow, there’s no better place to turn than God’s own words. God is close to those who grieve.

We may grieve for a friend or family member who has died or a loved one who has strayed. We may mourn the loss of a pet or a job or a prized possession. We may experience grief when our health wanes or a relationship sours. Whatever the source of our pain, the Bible assures us that the Lord “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

When we experience loss, it only hurts more to ignore it or deny it; healing comes when we acknowledge and express what we’re feeling. While it’s therapeutic to talk to friends and counselors, there’s no one better to hear our sorrows than our gracious, compassionate and loving Lord.

There’s also no better way to pray through our grief than with the words of Scripture, allowing God’s own words to flow through our minds and hearts. Here are 10 scriptures that anyone can pray through grief:

1)  2 Samuel 12:23
“I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23). Or turn it around to heighten the promise in the verse: “He (or she) will not return to me, but I will go to him (or her).”

2)  Psalm 31:9 
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief (Psalm 31:9).

3)  Psalm 34:18 
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).

4)  Psalm 73:21-26 
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever (Psalm 73:21-26).

5)  Psalm 119:28
My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word (Psalm 119:28).

6)  Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).

7)  Matthew 5:4
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).

8)  John 16:22
“Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:22).

9)  1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
We do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14).

10) Revelation 21:4 
“‘[God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

These are a mere sample of the many Bible verses that will help a grieving person process and pray through a season of grief. Feel free to print them and pray them as often as necessary, and even add other verses as you encounter them in your Bible reading.

Encourage one another

“Encourage each other every day while it is ‘today.’” Hebrews 3:13 (NCV)

Most of you have to juggle a lot of important roles in your life. You’re a colleague, a parent, a family member, or a friend to someone. But if you’re married, God has given you another incredibly important role: to be your spouse’s biggest fan. It’s a job only you can do in the way God desires—and your spouse desperately needs you to do it.

Every person on the planet needs to be affirmed by someone on a regular basis—including your spouse. It’s how God wired us. More than likely, affirmation was part of your marriage in the beginning. You probably wouldn’t have married each other if it wasn’t. But like so many other parts of a growing marriage, affirmation often fades over the course of time.

The Bible says in Hebrews 3:13, “Encourage each other every day while it is ‘today’” (NCV).

But how do you encourage each other? What should you affirm in your spouse?

Here are some practical ways to affirm someone. They’re great tips for marriage and for any close relationship.

1. Affirm their value.

One meaning of the word “appreciate” is “to raise the value of something.” You raise the value of other people when you appreciate them. As you appreciate your spouse, you raise their value and the value of your marriage. Proverbs 12:25 says, “A word of encouragement does wonders!” (TLB). A word of encouragement will do wonders for your marriage—or any other relationship.

2. Affirm their strengths.

You bring out the best in your spouse when you point out their strengths, instead of focusing on their weaknesses. Choose to be a dream builder, not a dream buster. We ultimately become what other people see in us. No person in your spouse’s life can impact their self-identity—and ultimately their future—like you can.

3. Affirm the role they play.

You and your spouse make your own unique contributions to the world. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate the role they play. Cheer them on and help them see the impact they’re making.

You have an incredible opportunity to impact your spouse’s self-understanding. You can use that opportunity to either build them up or tear them down. It’s your choice. And it’s one of the most important choices you’ll make for the health of your marriage.

Choose to intentionally build up your spouse, today!

Adapted from an article by Rick Warren

Wings out of weights

No matter what obstacles you face in life, there is a way to live above them. God gives His children wings when things get to be too much. Wings are born out of weights.

There’s a sort of gravitation in this old world that daily strives to pull us down. But there’s also an upward pull that can lift us up to the very heart of God. “Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31) Those who wait in the Lord’s presence, in prayer and in His Word, rise to realms of peace and rest.

When wearied with the strain of it all, fly to God. God has the victory for you. God has the answers to your problems. Fly to God for the rest that He has promised. Fly on the wings of prayer and faith and get the relief that He alone can give you.

If you’re having trouble finding that place of peace and rest in God’s presence, we invite you to receive His Son, Jesus, into your heart. Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”(Matthew 11:28) You can receive Jesus right now by simply praying the following prayer:

Dear Jesus, thank You for dying for me so I can have eternal life. Please forgive me for every wrong and unloving thing I have ever done. Come into my heart, give me Your gift of eternal life, and help me to know Your love and peace. Thank You for hearing and answering this prayer and for being with me always, from this moment on. Amen.

Insurance or assurance

I came across an article about the difference between “insurance” and “assurance,” which got me thinking. Is God out insurance or our assurance?

Having God in our lives is a form of insurance. We know that no matter what happens, He will be with us and bless us for trusting Him. “I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Romans 8:38–39) and, “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God” (Romans 8:28).

But in my day-to-day life, particularly when I’m faced with a decision or problem, what I want and need even more is assurance for the short term. God gives us that, too. He promises us guidance (Psalm 32:8), supply of our needs (Philippians 4:19), and grace and strength in difficult times (2 Corinthians 12:3). He also offers the assurance, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5) —and that is as true in the immediate circumstance as it will ever be.

Life is a series of situations and decisions. When we focus on the uncertainties, we become paralyzed. But when we take our problems to God and look to Him in our decision making, His assurances propel us in the right direction. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God … and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). “Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left.” (Isaiah 30:21)

Who knows what the coming year will bring? Probably a mix of surprises, successes, setbacks, and some sleepless nights. But through it all, God wants to be both our insurance and our assurance—insurance in the long term, and assurance in the short.

insurance: coverage by contract whereby one party undertakes to indemnify or guarantee another against loss by a specified contingency or peril

assurance: the state of being assured: as a: security b: a being certain in the mind c: confidence of mind or manner: easy freedom from self-doubt or uncertainty

Definitions courtesy of merriam-webster.com

Self-preservation?

I once saw a TV show set in Great Britain during the early part of World War II. The Nazis had defeated France, and the British expected imminent invasion. For some, the uncertainty, the fear of the future, and the feeling that they needed to take care of their own led them to act in ways they wouldn’t have in their normal day-to-day lives. They showed less concern for others, many hoarded, others stole, and some even committed murder!

Other people, in contrast, reacted in a completely different manner. They weren’t heroic because they performed great deeds; they were heroic because they performed small deeds selflessly. They faced their difficulties with dignity. They helped one another. They banded together as a community, looking out for the welfare of their neighbours and sharing what they had with those in need.

Seeing the contrast between the two types of responses brought home the challenges we face when we are in uncertain times or difficult situations. In times of disorientation, it’s natural for people to feel concerned for themselves. While everyone won’t respond in the same way, the selfish human instinct for self-preservation takes a more prominent role for some people.

When all around us is unstable, it’s natural to become destabilized ourselves. When what felt like solid ground begins to feel like shifting sand, the fear can be gripping.—Fear of the future, fear of the changes being, or about to be, thrust upon us. If we allow fear to overpower faith, our trust in God’s care tends to diminish. Once that happens, then the feeling that we must take control of events and take matters into our own hands becomes more prominent. This isn’t necessarily bad, since the “fight or flight” instinct is built into our nature, and we automatically respond to perceived danger with self-preserving moves.

The challenge we face, though, is finding the right balance between our human nature and our spiritual nature. As Christians we are “new creatures” who possess more than just human nature (2 Corinthians 5:17). We have God’s Spirit dwelling within us (1 Corinthians 3:16). We abide in Jesus and He abides in us (John 15:4). So, our responses to circumstances and events should be influenced by that indwelling. While we may feel naturally driven toward self-preservation, the Spirit can temper that reaction, so that we can find the balanced response—one which is compatible with Christ’s nature. (Galatians 5:22–23)

This isn’t easy, because our human nature is so … well, human. It’s our default setting. Being concerned for someone else or their need, situation, or struggle isn’t naturally our first priority. Because of this, there is the danger that we will minimize or even completely ignore someone else’s needs in favor of our own. Taking care of your needs and the needs of your loved ones isn’t wrong. But as disciples of Jesus, filled with the Spirit of Jesus, we should step back from focusing on our own needs and look also to the needs of others. Philippians 2:4–5 says: “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

To the finish line!

Author unknown

We can find inspiration from the life of John Stephen Akhwari, as told in Bud Greenspan’s book 100 Greatest Moments in Olympic History.

When the winner crossed the finish line in the 1968 Mexico City Olympic marathon, the officials and spectators thought that had been the highlight of the race. Then, an hour later, John Stephen Akhwari, a runner from Tanzania, entered the stadium. Bloodied and bandaged from a fall, and with a dislocated knee, he limped painfully.

As Akhwari made his way around the track in the setting sun, the remaining crowd began to cheer loudly. When he crossed the finish line, you would have thought by the roar of the crowd that Akhwari had been the victor.

Later, when asked why he had not dropped out, Akhwari replied, “I don’t think you understand. My country did not send me 5,000 miles to start the race. They sent me 5,000 miles to finish the race.”

When you’re bruised and bloodied by life, press on; your Creator did not send you here to start the race, but to finish it! “Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:1–2)

Dr. A. B. Meldrum put it this way: “Bear in mind, if you are going to amount to anything, that your success does not depend on the brilliancy and the impetuosity with which you take hold, but upon the everlasting and sanctified bull-doggedness with which you hang on after you have taken hold.” Or in other words, “Fight the good fight of faith!” (1 Timothy 6:12)

The Scottish minister and hymnist George Matheson was someone else who didn’t quit, despite the onset of blindness. His advice: “We conquer—not in any brilliant fashion—we conquer by continuing.”

Keep going, no matter what the cost. Keep fighting, no matter what bruises you get. Keep running, no matter how many times you stumble and fall. Your cuts and bruises and scrapes and scars are medals of honour in God’s sight, signs that you had the faith, courage, determination, and commitment to keep going even when it was tough! You may have fallen, but you refused to quit.

At the end of the race, you’ll be able to say, like the apostle Paul: “My only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me.” (Acts 20:24)

Our Guide through Life (and COVID 19)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness. — Psalm 23:1-3

He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. — Psalm 25:9

Are there those who respect the Lord? He will point them to the best way. — Psalm 25:12

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. — Psalm 37:23

Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. — Psalm 31:3

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you. — Psalm 32:8

For this is God, our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death. — Psalm 48:14

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. — Psalm 73:24

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. — Psalm 119:105

Now isn’t that amazing

The solution to our problems and despair may not be as hard as we imagine.

Let’s say you’re going through a desperate time and have lost your bearings, or are experiencing loss, suffering, grief, or big changes in life, to the point that you question how you’re going to go on.  Sometimes in the midst of problems and hopelessness, you can barely even have faith that God will hear you. What can you do?

Lunch with God

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

Take it day by day

Someone has said that today is a marvel of opportunity crucified between two thieves, yesterday and tomorrow! Today, this very day, is one of the most wonderfully precious things you will ever have.

Today you can do some of the things that you’ve been putting off for so long. You can’t do them yesterday and may not have the chance to do them tomorrow, but today is yours! Today you can be the kind of person you always dreamed you’d be “tomorrow.” This is that tomorrow!